I really only have time and energy to say that I am still alive. My days have been strings of ups and downs and today happens to be a down that I just can't shake so I'm going to skip the whining or whatever and treat everyone to Rufus Wainwright. (It's a bit abridged but this is the essence of the song)
Oh What A World
Men reading fashion magazines
Oh what a world
It seems we live in
Straight man
Oh what a world
We live in
Why am I always on a plane or a fast train
Oh what a world my parents gave me
Always
Travelin' but not in love
Still I think I'm doin' fine
Wouldn't it be a lovely headline
Life is
Beautiful on a New York Times
Oh what a world my parents gave me
Always
Travelin' but not in love
Still I think I'm doin' fine
Wouldn't it be a lovely headline
Life is
Beautiful
Friday, July 09, 2004
Cracked
Not long before the coiling shouts
shuffled out the hidden screen door
with tails tucked tightly ‘tween
their legs, I cracked an egg
in the rough burlap cuff
of my aged kilt and basted
it in a neat sunny-side-up.
Not long after the runny yolk
popped and slithered ‘round my ankles
like discarded underwear or lonely
tabby cats, the pounding door screened
with a shadow darker than ink, darker
than rock sand or slick, oiled hair.
Not too soon, it blasted stealthily past
the mossy rock wall and narrowly slid
its head into my knee, vicariously
lapping my toes into tingly pins
and pricks.
Too long, it shined the yellow cell
away with a downy adjustment
and an iron fork worked beneath
my skin and peeled it up like a tent,
my golden skin taught ‘neath the prying tines.
Not long now, and the germinating
canvas, watered down like over-iced
lemonade, will snare the gauzy tide
and rip the over-sexed sky into thirds
like a banana peel, taking the screen
but leaving me the door and the shadow’s
ice-bitten shadow.
(I'm stuck with this poem, anyone care to critique or edit it?)
Not long before the coiling shouts
shuffled out the hidden screen door
with tails tucked tightly ‘tween
their legs, I cracked an egg
in the rough burlap cuff
of my aged kilt and basted
it in a neat sunny-side-up.
Not long after the runny yolk
popped and slithered ‘round my ankles
like discarded underwear or lonely
tabby cats, the pounding door screened
with a shadow darker than ink, darker
than rock sand or slick, oiled hair.
Not too soon, it blasted stealthily past
the mossy rock wall and narrowly slid
its head into my knee, vicariously
lapping my toes into tingly pins
and pricks.
Too long, it shined the yellow cell
away with a downy adjustment
and an iron fork worked beneath
my skin and peeled it up like a tent,
my golden skin taught ‘neath the prying tines.
Not long now, and the germinating
canvas, watered down like over-iced
lemonade, will snare the gauzy tide
and rip the over-sexed sky into thirds
like a banana peel, taking the screen
but leaving me the door and the shadow’s
ice-bitten shadow.
(I'm stuck with this poem, anyone care to critique or edit it?)
Thursday, July 08, 2004
I hate computers! I just wrote a great witty post with all the nitty gritty dirt of my entire life and the entire lives of several other people including your own, probably, and it's gone! GONE!!! I can't believe the evilness of this mechanical horror. And the last time I was on, a couldn't post any of my amazing skinny dipping pictures. The world is a much worse place because of these electronic abominations.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Time is flying on the dark side of the mountains. Wars have been won and lost, lives have began and ended and I sit in a timeless void where the library is only open 3 days a week and the only hugs I receive are from trees. So return the hug I'm sending the void and you and post me a comment because I miss you.
Home (sick)
Tonight this poem is for the stars
unsheathing themselves from hazy
ten o’clock milk of magnesia sky
and laying, back down, spread-eagle,
cradling head in woven finger
baskets. It is for smoke clinging
to breezes and thoughts that slide
under stringy witch's hair draping
on branch-like old-growth cedar
tongues that lick up stringent clouds
like pillowy marshmallows.
This poem dreams of rolling rapids
and horizontal roller-coaster rivers
that twist through rocks
and toss rafts, paddles and water
into velvet constellations.
This is a poem about bedding down
like a young fawn to watch ancient
Mesopotamian and Greek myths play
across the sky like the Illustrated Man's
tattoos. I can tee Taurus guarding
the Pleiades from great hunter Orion
and the rafts, paddles and water
and the scorching hot veldt ranged
by lions' prides, but I don't see you.
This poem remembers nature, drifting
night skies, weekends on the water,
icy dips in frigid alpine lakes
and pelting hard rain on tent flies,
but the ink curves around you
like sun blinks through forest canopies.
This poem wanted to immortalize
the stars and nature's charisma
but it has left that to more focused
poets with finesse and skill.
Today, you can have this poem
and lounge in flowery prose
and tear apart similes and gauzy
metaphors that guard thoughts of you.
Today, you can have this poem's
hollow images and feeble attempts
to evade you. But tomorrow, its words
and stanzas will melt into the Skykomish
and ebb into the Sound.
Home (sick)
Tonight this poem is for the stars
unsheathing themselves from hazy
ten o’clock milk of magnesia sky
and laying, back down, spread-eagle,
cradling head in woven finger
baskets. It is for smoke clinging
to breezes and thoughts that slide
under stringy witch's hair draping
on branch-like old-growth cedar
tongues that lick up stringent clouds
like pillowy marshmallows.
This poem dreams of rolling rapids
and horizontal roller-coaster rivers
that twist through rocks
and toss rafts, paddles and water
into velvet constellations.
This is a poem about bedding down
like a young fawn to watch ancient
Mesopotamian and Greek myths play
across the sky like the Illustrated Man's
tattoos. I can tee Taurus guarding
the Pleiades from great hunter Orion
and the rafts, paddles and water
and the scorching hot veldt ranged
by lions' prides, but I don't see you.
This poem remembers nature, drifting
night skies, weekends on the water,
icy dips in frigid alpine lakes
and pelting hard rain on tent flies,
but the ink curves around you
like sun blinks through forest canopies.
This poem wanted to immortalize
the stars and nature's charisma
but it has left that to more focused
poets with finesse and skill.
Today, you can have this poem
and lounge in flowery prose
and tear apart similes and gauzy
metaphors that guard thoughts of you.
Today, you can have this poem's
hollow images and feeble attempts
to evade you. But tomorrow, its words
and stanzas will melt into the Skykomish
and ebb into the Sound.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
I am about to kiss Seattle and the Jefferson House goodbye for the summer. Saralita pulled out earlier today and Rena will be following my footsteps out the door tomorrow. Our quartet was quite a reckoning force and I am sad to see the end of this era, the age of estrogen, as I like to say. I think what I told Saralita when she left this afternoon about sums it up, "we can't all be cowboys, some of us are clowns."
I would love to be pen pals with anyone who cares to hand write a letter. My address is PO Box 305
74920 NE Stevens Pass Highway
Skykomish WA 98288
4 months in passing:Employment with Mad Market
Habitat for Humanity Church Build with Saralita
Bike trip to Arboretum with Saralita and Chris
obtain Washington State ID
Visit Patricks in Port Orchard and watch Cabaret
St. Patrick's Day celebrations complete with green cookies
Hike Mount Si
Making bread with Sarita
Biking on Whidbey Island with Sarita
Backpacking to Baker Lake with Sarita
Tiger Mountain and the Issaquah Alps
Vegetarian Fest
Dinner Parties with Turkey, Kaluah Cakes, sushi etc.
Visits from Taylor
picnicking
Full Moon Dancing with Chris, Aaron and saralita
Exploding the Volcano with Chris, Rena, Sarita and Saralita
Easter egg hunt with Katy
JCS with Chris
Late night abs with Sarita and company
Bloomsday
Early morning running with Sarita
Pinochle with Chris, Hillary, Saralita and Aaron
Mr Spot's Chai House with Katy
Rock Climbing with Saralita and Aaron
Acting Class
Co-Rec soccer
Jason Webley Concert with Saralita, Chris and Craig
Ender's Game
35 mile bike rides
Poetry Slams
Banana Bread
Crepe pot lucks
Backpacking with Saralita
Parking tickets
Late night chats
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Plays at SPU
Urinetown with Katy, Taylor and Ryan
One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest with Saralita
Shopping for 30 days worth of food
Visit Moscow and Missoula-see previous posts
Hauling rocks up the stairs
Momma and baby bird play acting
Endless laughing fits
Dancing in the rain
Dance parties
I would love to be pen pals with anyone who cares to hand write a letter. My address is PO Box 305
74920 NE Stevens Pass Highway
Skykomish WA 98288
4 months in passing:Employment with Mad Market
Habitat for Humanity Church Build with Saralita
Bike trip to Arboretum with Saralita and Chris
obtain Washington State ID
Visit Patricks in Port Orchard and watch Cabaret
St. Patrick's Day celebrations complete with green cookies
Hike Mount Si
Making bread with Sarita
Biking on Whidbey Island with Sarita
Backpacking to Baker Lake with Sarita
Tiger Mountain and the Issaquah Alps
Vegetarian Fest
Dinner Parties with Turkey, Kaluah Cakes, sushi etc.
Visits from Taylor
picnicking
Full Moon Dancing with Chris, Aaron and saralita
Exploding the Volcano with Chris, Rena, Sarita and Saralita
Easter egg hunt with Katy
JCS with Chris
Late night abs with Sarita and company
Bloomsday
Early morning running with Sarita
Pinochle with Chris, Hillary, Saralita and Aaron
Mr Spot's Chai House with Katy
Rock Climbing with Saralita and Aaron
Acting Class
Co-Rec soccer
Jason Webley Concert with Saralita, Chris and Craig
Ender's Game
35 mile bike rides
Poetry Slams
Banana Bread
Crepe pot lucks
Backpacking with Saralita
Parking tickets
Late night chats
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Plays at SPU
Urinetown with Katy, Taylor and Ryan
One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest with Saralita
Shopping for 30 days worth of food
Visit Moscow and Missoula-see previous posts
Hauling rocks up the stairs
Momma and baby bird play acting
Endless laughing fits
Dancing in the rain
Dance parties
Thursday, June 10, 2004
In a sad but exciting way, another page of my life is being turned. I am drawing my Missoulahome road trip to a close and will soon be diving into the life of a seasoned, calloused trail crew intern. I think I will be grossly out of shape but the callouses I have. Moscow and home have been a whirlwind of fun. My new appendage, Chris, has been wonderfully easy going and doesn't mind being dragged along to meet my entire family and enterage of friends. He is now in the category with only my mom, dad and Saralita. These are the people who have spent a week or more in solitary confinement with me and survived. Hats off to all! The latest highlights of this trip:
Tons and tons of hugs from family and friends.
Missoula rush hour traffic.
Lunching at the Good Food Store and chatting with former coworkers and customers.
Playing with my dogs and cats.
Riding a mule backwards for at least an hour.
Climbing trees while the wind blows extra hard.
Holding my sister's hand, reading Where the Wild Things Are and tickling.
Shish Kabobs and Bahama mamma's.
Hot tubing by myself at night while Purple Haze plays on the radio.
Early morning chai with Whitney, Jo, mom and Chris at Break.
Thai Spicy with Grandparents and not passing out from an air bubble causing intense chest pain.
Thrift store and second hand book store shopping.
The third Harry Potter movie with Whitney, mom and Jaala!
Making mom her hummus, it's a ritual.
Letting Colleen teach me how to make garlic bread and cook pasta.
Looking at old pictures.
Teen Girl Squad!
Finding the Beattle's Let it Be record.
Waking up at 6:30am to take my car for a tune up.
Having Tipu's chai at Bernice's with Dad.
Meeting friends for Out To Lunch at Caras Park
Tipu's Curry!
Running into tons and tons of old acquaintances.
Watching the boys and their foot sack.
Riding Midnight Rose on the carousel, paying 1.50, grabbing and dropping the brass ring but still winning a free token.
Record hunting at Ear Candy and Rockin' Rudy's.
Finding out my car has serious problems, like the axel is wobbling, and that it won't be ready in time for a Glacier trip.
Hail!
Meeting my Aunt at a bar, playing darts and pool, swing dancing, pouring water down mom's pants.
Getting the Break Expresso chai recipe from Eli in the form of a bag full of the spices
Participating but mostly watching an acoustic music gathering at Quarter Moon Books with more friends.
Doin' it in the road.
Liquid Planet and Bubble up.
Hook.
Sleeping in my old bed!
Tons and tons of hugs from family and friends.
Missoula rush hour traffic.
Lunching at the Good Food Store and chatting with former coworkers and customers.
Playing with my dogs and cats.
Riding a mule backwards for at least an hour.
Climbing trees while the wind blows extra hard.
Holding my sister's hand, reading Where the Wild Things Are and tickling.
Shish Kabobs and Bahama mamma's.
Hot tubing by myself at night while Purple Haze plays on the radio.
Early morning chai with Whitney, Jo, mom and Chris at Break.
Thai Spicy with Grandparents and not passing out from an air bubble causing intense chest pain.
Thrift store and second hand book store shopping.
The third Harry Potter movie with Whitney, mom and Jaala!
Making mom her hummus, it's a ritual.
Letting Colleen teach me how to make garlic bread and cook pasta.
Looking at old pictures.
Teen Girl Squad!
Finding the Beattle's Let it Be record.
Waking up at 6:30am to take my car for a tune up.
Having Tipu's chai at Bernice's with Dad.
Meeting friends for Out To Lunch at Caras Park
Tipu's Curry!
Running into tons and tons of old acquaintances.
Watching the boys and their foot sack.
Riding Midnight Rose on the carousel, paying 1.50, grabbing and dropping the brass ring but still winning a free token.
Record hunting at Ear Candy and Rockin' Rudy's.
Finding out my car has serious problems, like the axel is wobbling, and that it won't be ready in time for a Glacier trip.
Hail!
Meeting my Aunt at a bar, playing darts and pool, swing dancing, pouring water down mom's pants.
Getting the Break Expresso chai recipe from Eli in the form of a bag full of the spices
Participating but mostly watching an acoustic music gathering at Quarter Moon Books with more friends.
Doin' it in the road.
Liquid Planet and Bubble up.
Hook.
Sleeping in my old bed!
Monday, June 07, 2004
Not much time to chat but the long of the short of it is: I love road tripping, Moscow, my parents, Missoula, Chai, garage sales, small towns, rain, hot springs, cold rivers, Bahama Momma's and pinochle. More to come while in Missoula. Hopefully, a hike up the M, Tipu's Tiger, Finnigan's, Costco, horseback riding, Break Expresso, Bernice's, hot tubing, playing with my cats, time with family and a big salad bar!
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Maybe BLOG is not best place to do this but must vent somewhere.
Have not slept like should in v. long time. Frustrating at the least. Get very cranky, jealous, contemptuous, pent up, unhappy when am sleepy or kept awake. Hasn't been problem for v. long time. Ex-rommie was last real protagonist. New reasons seem to outcrop:
1. Raucous laughter coming from kitchen, living room, outside at all hours of night
2. General bedtime of house around 1 or 2 am.
3. Bladder needing to be emptied during witching hour
4. Unexplainably waking up during witching hour
5. Friends visiting and sleeping over
6. Not even trying to sleep in first place
7. General inability to nap or sleep in past 9:30 am
8. EBay items that close during night
Am leaving for Moscow and Montana soon and will be rid of items 1, 2, 5, 8. Not sure will be able to sleep before 1 or 2 am but option will be there. Looking forward to sunrise maybe. Who am I kidding? Watching sunrise right now and slept like crap last night.
Have not slept like should in v. long time. Frustrating at the least. Get very cranky, jealous, contemptuous, pent up, unhappy when am sleepy or kept awake. Hasn't been problem for v. long time. Ex-rommie was last real protagonist. New reasons seem to outcrop:
1. Raucous laughter coming from kitchen, living room, outside at all hours of night
2. General bedtime of house around 1 or 2 am.
3. Bladder needing to be emptied during witching hour
4. Unexplainably waking up during witching hour
5. Friends visiting and sleeping over
6. Not even trying to sleep in first place
7. General inability to nap or sleep in past 9:30 am
8. EBay items that close during night
Am leaving for Moscow and Montana soon and will be rid of items 1, 2, 5, 8. Not sure will be able to sleep before 1 or 2 am but option will be there. Looking forward to sunrise maybe. Who am I kidding? Watching sunrise right now and slept like crap last night.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Saralita and I finally found Surprise Lake under an intense layer of snow this Memorial Day Weekend.
Friday, May 28, 2004
Highlights!
1. Seeing Green Eggs and Ham at SPU and afterwards meeting Katy's current boyfriend, Ryan, and sipping caramel sugar free Italian sodas with Jody at on the top of Queen Anne at Cafe dibble.
2. Getting lost in random on the way to pick up Taylor at the airport. Ike really does exist for you Fight Club fans out there.
3. Picking up Taylor and um, his beta.
4. Making sushi and began hotdogs and Boca burgers at my apartment with the roommies, Taylor and Katy.
5. Katy, Taylor, Sarah, Sarah and I doing abs and subsequently falling into an uncontrollable laugh fest.
6. Watching Kill Bill. I may have a soft/hard spot for anime.
6.5 Bubble tea and the Mix ice cream in the pouring rain over on the AVE in the U District.
7. Cramming 5 people into mine and Saralita's room for the night. None of us snored either!
8. Urinetown, the musical after dinner at Jack in the Box on Broadway. I've never been so entertained in my life. I highly recommend listening to the sound track to this musical. Better yet, buy a ticket and watch it. Taylor and I laughed so hard.
9. Watching Jesus Christ Superstar, staying up all night, backrubs. yummmm..
9.5 Dropping Taylor off at the airport at 5:15 am, braving 8:30 traffic back into town, dropping Katy and Ryan off at SPA and Aaron in Ballard. Never been so stressed in my life. I lapsed into a fit of Tourette's.
10. Laundry, finally. Still have to make my bed. Mmmm bed!
11. Frolicking in the pouring rain with the Sarah's in nothing, and I mean nothing, but a skirt and a tank top. Getting soaking wet in the fountain on campus and trekking back through the dorm and dog piling a dry studying Rena back home.
11. Buying polypro pants at 20% off at REI with Saralita.
12. Volunteer ushering at Theater Schmeater and seeing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for free. It was the best play I've seen done my a small theater.
13. Talking with Chris in a very incoherent state while cooking tomato soup and impersonating the Beattles. I still haven't slept for 32 hours.
14. Reading an email from my future co-trail crew worker, Zack. He's my new favorite person.
1. Seeing Green Eggs and Ham at SPU and afterwards meeting Katy's current boyfriend, Ryan, and sipping caramel sugar free Italian sodas with Jody at on the top of Queen Anne at Cafe dibble.
2. Getting lost in random on the way to pick up Taylor at the airport. Ike really does exist for you Fight Club fans out there.
3. Picking up Taylor and um, his beta.
4. Making sushi and began hotdogs and Boca burgers at my apartment with the roommies, Taylor and Katy.
5. Katy, Taylor, Sarah, Sarah and I doing abs and subsequently falling into an uncontrollable laugh fest.
6. Watching Kill Bill. I may have a soft/hard spot for anime.
6.5 Bubble tea and the Mix ice cream in the pouring rain over on the AVE in the U District.
7. Cramming 5 people into mine and Saralita's room for the night. None of us snored either!
8. Urinetown, the musical after dinner at Jack in the Box on Broadway. I've never been so entertained in my life. I highly recommend listening to the sound track to this musical. Better yet, buy a ticket and watch it. Taylor and I laughed so hard.
9. Watching Jesus Christ Superstar, staying up all night, backrubs. yummmm..
9.5 Dropping Taylor off at the airport at 5:15 am, braving 8:30 traffic back into town, dropping Katy and Ryan off at SPA and Aaron in Ballard. Never been so stressed in my life. I lapsed into a fit of Tourette's.
10. Laundry, finally. Still have to make my bed. Mmmm bed!
11. Frolicking in the pouring rain with the Sarah's in nothing, and I mean nothing, but a skirt and a tank top. Getting soaking wet in the fountain on campus and trekking back through the dorm and dog piling a dry studying Rena back home.
11. Buying polypro pants at 20% off at REI with Saralita.
12. Volunteer ushering at Theater Schmeater and seeing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for free. It was the best play I've seen done my a small theater.
13. Talking with Chris in a very incoherent state while cooking tomato soup and impersonating the Beattles. I still haven't slept for 32 hours.
14. Reading an email from my future co-trail crew worker, Zack. He's my new favorite person.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.
-John 3:8
The wind, sometimes it's cool, other times it is like the hot air rushing out of an oven while you poke at a batch of cookies. I want to be in the middle of a field in Montana, feeling the Timothy whip around my legs and breathing sharp, heavy air, while the wind whirs through my hair and makes my clothes tight against my body. I want to feel like I can soar away on a gust if I only run fast enough. I want to fly until I find the beginning, the end, its creator, its source. I want to fear the looming black clouds and smell the electric lightening whose jagged scar frightens and energizes me. I need the wind to blow me from stagnancy, to blow me towards love, towards home and towards my fears. I entreat you, forces of nature, my arms are spread and I'm wearing loose clothing. My arms are spread and I am ready to fly, I am ready to go.
-John 3:8
The wind, sometimes it's cool, other times it is like the hot air rushing out of an oven while you poke at a batch of cookies. I want to be in the middle of a field in Montana, feeling the Timothy whip around my legs and breathing sharp, heavy air, while the wind whirs through my hair and makes my clothes tight against my body. I want to feel like I can soar away on a gust if I only run fast enough. I want to fly until I find the beginning, the end, its creator, its source. I want to fear the looming black clouds and smell the electric lightening whose jagged scar frightens and energizes me. I need the wind to blow me from stagnancy, to blow me towards love, towards home and towards my fears. I entreat you, forces of nature, my arms are spread and I'm wearing loose clothing. My arms are spread and I am ready to fly, I am ready to go.
Saturday, May 22, 2004
imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine all the people living life in peace, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people living for today, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people sharing all the word, imagine, imaginer, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagine all the people living life in peace, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people living for today, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people sharing all the word, imagine, imaginer, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination
Thursday, May 20, 2004
This poem needs to be read aloud. It sounds odd when I read it in my head, it's flat. So figure out how you can relate to this poem and just vent or call me and I'll recite it for you.
Last Time
I ran away again. I didn’t want
to know you. I didn’t want to hurt
you, be hurt by you, know you.
I might complain, might cry
might write this poem to avoid
you. I percolate, I ponder, I pulsate
on why I want you so, why it hurts
to know you, hurts the micro fibers
below my brain. They twist, twirl
around the thought of you and they
contract, contradict.
I ran away again. I didn’t want
you to know me. I didn’t want
you to find out I’m a hypocrite,
that I’m jealous, that I lie, I am
selfish. I want you to think I always
have a song suck in my head, stars
on my temple, that I laugh until
no sound comes out, and that I
look at the sky because it
means something.
I ran away again. It’s better
here loving myself, hating myself,
thinking of you, knowing you
without you here. I am safe from
myself, safe from combat, conflict,
carelessness. I didn’t want to
know you, care about you,
love you.
Last Time
I ran away again. I didn’t want
to know you. I didn’t want to hurt
you, be hurt by you, know you.
I might complain, might cry
might write this poem to avoid
you. I percolate, I ponder, I pulsate
on why I want you so, why it hurts
to know you, hurts the micro fibers
below my brain. They twist, twirl
around the thought of you and they
contract, contradict.
I ran away again. I didn’t want
you to know me. I didn’t want
you to find out I’m a hypocrite,
that I’m jealous, that I lie, I am
selfish. I want you to think I always
have a song suck in my head, stars
on my temple, that I laugh until
no sound comes out, and that I
look at the sky because it
means something.
I ran away again. It’s better
here loving myself, hating myself,
thinking of you, knowing you
without you here. I am safe from
myself, safe from combat, conflict,
carelessness. I didn’t want to
know you, care about you,
love you.
Monday, May 17, 2004
Sunday, May 16, 2004
I don't want to be all hoity toity about this but I think that more people are looking at my blog than my anonymous visitor and I. So I am going to post a little introduction to myself. I really should get someone to forward me the 50 questions that just keep cycling about and about.
1. What time is it? 20:05
2. Name as it appears on you Birth Certificate? Uh uh, not on the internet.
3. Any nicknames? R, R Star, R2K, Rach, Turtle Dove, Lehcar, Kawate
4. Parent's names? Nick and Stacey
5. Candles on your last cake: 19
6. Date that you regularly blow them out? August 27, go Virgos
7. Visual: 6 feet, blond, green eyes
8. Home: Seattle, Washington with an emphasis on Missoula, Montana
9. Word: Flummed
10. Food: Ethnic, Indian especially, vegetarian, raw
11. Family: Mom, Dad, 2 Aunts, 1 uncle, 2 grammas, Grandpa, Great Aunt and Uncle, Half sister
12. Future Career: Actress, translator, outdoor enthusiast, guide, business owner.
13. Personality: Extrovert with dashes of introvert tendencies, random in thoughts action and speech, impulsive in play but tediously not in work, messy, chaotic, positive, assertive, selfish, risk taker, easy going, adventuresome, bossy, self-conscience, boisterous, contemplative, fluctuating.
14. Interests: Travel, theater, French, backpacking, biking, skiing, rock climbing, reading non-fiction, writing, conversation, drawing, music-rock jazz folk alternative musicals, singing, boating, cooking, kyaking, raw foods, poetry, work, gardening and so on and so forth. Just omit meat, country music, coffee and the unmentionable store.
15. Passions: Read my previous post on passions for that one.
16. Fears: Spiders, being forgotten, relationships, not zeroing out my till, needles, blood, wearing my retainer, gaining weight, getting sick, meat substitutes, having my dad forget me, school and not going back to school, getting addicted to this damn blog.
17. Wishes: To fly, to make and keep a friend for the rest of my life, play in Peter Pan, live somewhere like Belize, Nepal, Calcutta, Morocco, Thailand or Ecuador for three months this fall, play the guitar perfectly, run a mile in under six minutes, know the name and singer of every song I hear, hike the Wonderland Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail, climb Everest without dying, fall in love, see and reconnect with my best friends of yesterday, halt the production of paper and plastic bags, bike across the US, grow two inches, go to high school prom one more time, be age six, be invisible, move at the speed of light and go to a Rolling Stones Concert for under 100 dollars.
18. Pets? Billbo the wonder hobbit/cat, KC and Tunes (both cats) Tabasco Joe, fondly known as TJ (Brittany spaniel), Oakley the pond dog, and Custer, our mule.
19. Tattoos? I were star stickers on my temples and write ZERO on my thumb every morning with permanent marker.
20. How much do you love your job? I hate it! I loath it and I spit on the ground it walks on. Customer service can kiss my ass.
21. Favorite vacation spot? New Orleans was awesome but NYC was amazing. I can’t forget Hawaii and Europe. Of all the places that I’ve been, Hawaii is the only one I am seriously planning on visiting again.
22. Ever been in a car accident? I have. I backed my open car door into the side of the garage door as I backed out of the garage. I also ran into a parked van after I had stopped the car and had my foot on the break. I was looking for my mailbox key and my foot let up pressure on the break, damn automatics.
19. Favorite Pie? Vegan pumpkin pie, Grasshopper pie or cherry cheesecake with gram cracker crust
20. Favorite Number? 27
21. Favorite Movies? Moulin Rouge, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Romeo and Juliet, 5th Element, Princess Bride, Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jesus Christ Superstar, Jurassic Park, Fight Club, Aladdin, Peter Pan with Mary Martin, Hook, Conspiracy Theory, Office Space, Almost Famous, Hair.
22. Favorite Color? Green
23. Favorite TV show? Wishbone, Scrubs, Zoom, Keeping Up Appearances, Ed, Bill Nye the Science Guy
24. Most recently read book? Ender’s Game Series
25. Perfume/Cologne? sweat and blood, man, I can barely get myself to shower much less put on smelly stuff.
26. Favorite smell? Before or after a heavy windy storm, fresh cut grass, carrots
27. What do you do to relax? yoga, read, imagine, recite The Cremation of Sam McGee, listen to music
28. When was your last hospital visit? Mid February. I was eating out at a spicy restaurant, had intense pain in my chest, hyperventilated, passed out, woke up on the ground with a circle of people hovering over me. Diagnosis: Bubble of air in my chest that caused an intense pain leading to a loss of consciousness. In other words, I'm a wimp.
29. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (ironic that this question number is my age 10 years from now) Ten years? How about 10 months? 10 days? Montana! Okay, in ten years, I will be living in Ecuador, Nepal or Peru with my boyfriend of two to three years leading trekking expeditions for the none-rich.
30. What do you do when you are bored? Write poetry, read, do crosswords, bike ride, sleep, call friends, write in this damn blog, cook, eat.
31. Music? Classic Rock, contemporary musicals, techno, folk, jazz, alternative, emo, 80s more and more, light and hard rock, punk. Not country, not incoherent rap.
32. Books? Anne McCaffery’s Dragon Riders of Pern, Ray Bradbury, Piers Anthony especially the Incarnations of Immortality, Crystal Cave series, Da Vinci Code, John Grisham, Shakespeare, TH White, Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game series, Hatchet.
33. Musicals? Jesus Christ Superstar, Hair, Full Monty, Urinetown, Tick Tick Boom, Rent, Rocky Horror Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Phantom of the Opera, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat, Chorus Line, Jekyll and Hyde, Sweeny Todd, Starlight Express, Bombay Dreams, Little Shop of Horrors, God spell, Batboy, Lion King, Aida, Miss Saigon, Man of La Mancha, Into the Woods, Anything Goes, Chess.
34. Strengths? Personality, laugh, easy going, smart, funny to myself at least, active, variable, adaptable, enthusiastic, easily pleased, responsible, mature.
35. Weaknesses? Afraid of relationships, selfish, self-conscience, street dumb, procrastinator, low energy, anti-planning.
36. Pet peeves? Gum popping, stupid people who shop at the Madison Market, snoring, people who take up two parking spots, drivers who stop to let me illegally cross the street, lurkers, stupid bikers, stupid drivers.
37. Simple joys? Chai in the morning, laughing over nothing until it hurts, running early in the morning, getting email, mail or a comment, hugging, bad jokes and puns, quotes, carrots, finding people from Missoula and Montana, finishing a crossword, finishing a poem, complimenting someone, doing something scary.
1. What time is it? 20:05
2. Name as it appears on you Birth Certificate? Uh uh, not on the internet.
3. Any nicknames? R, R Star, R2K, Rach, Turtle Dove, Lehcar, Kawate
4. Parent's names? Nick and Stacey
5. Candles on your last cake: 19
6. Date that you regularly blow them out? August 27, go Virgos
7. Visual: 6 feet, blond, green eyes
8. Home: Seattle, Washington with an emphasis on Missoula, Montana
9. Word: Flummed
10. Food: Ethnic, Indian especially, vegetarian, raw
11. Family: Mom, Dad, 2 Aunts, 1 uncle, 2 grammas, Grandpa, Great Aunt and Uncle, Half sister
12. Future Career: Actress, translator, outdoor enthusiast, guide, business owner.
13. Personality: Extrovert with dashes of introvert tendencies, random in thoughts action and speech, impulsive in play but tediously not in work, messy, chaotic, positive, assertive, selfish, risk taker, easy going, adventuresome, bossy, self-conscience, boisterous, contemplative, fluctuating.
14. Interests: Travel, theater, French, backpacking, biking, skiing, rock climbing, reading non-fiction, writing, conversation, drawing, music-rock jazz folk alternative musicals, singing, boating, cooking, kyaking, raw foods, poetry, work, gardening and so on and so forth. Just omit meat, country music, coffee and the unmentionable store.
15. Passions: Read my previous post on passions for that one.
16. Fears: Spiders, being forgotten, relationships, not zeroing out my till, needles, blood, wearing my retainer, gaining weight, getting sick, meat substitutes, having my dad forget me, school and not going back to school, getting addicted to this damn blog.
17. Wishes: To fly, to make and keep a friend for the rest of my life, play in Peter Pan, live somewhere like Belize, Nepal, Calcutta, Morocco, Thailand or Ecuador for three months this fall, play the guitar perfectly, run a mile in under six minutes, know the name and singer of every song I hear, hike the Wonderland Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail, climb Everest without dying, fall in love, see and reconnect with my best friends of yesterday, halt the production of paper and plastic bags, bike across the US, grow two inches, go to high school prom one more time, be age six, be invisible, move at the speed of light and go to a Rolling Stones Concert for under 100 dollars.
18. Pets? Billbo the wonder hobbit/cat, KC and Tunes (both cats) Tabasco Joe, fondly known as TJ (Brittany spaniel), Oakley the pond dog, and Custer, our mule.
19. Tattoos? I were star stickers on my temples and write ZERO on my thumb every morning with permanent marker.
20. How much do you love your job? I hate it! I loath it and I spit on the ground it walks on. Customer service can kiss my ass.
21. Favorite vacation spot? New Orleans was awesome but NYC was amazing. I can’t forget Hawaii and Europe. Of all the places that I’ve been, Hawaii is the only one I am seriously planning on visiting again.
22. Ever been in a car accident? I have. I backed my open car door into the side of the garage door as I backed out of the garage. I also ran into a parked van after I had stopped the car and had my foot on the break. I was looking for my mailbox key and my foot let up pressure on the break, damn automatics.
19. Favorite Pie? Vegan pumpkin pie, Grasshopper pie or cherry cheesecake with gram cracker crust
20. Favorite Number? 27
21. Favorite Movies? Moulin Rouge, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Romeo and Juliet, 5th Element, Princess Bride, Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jesus Christ Superstar, Jurassic Park, Fight Club, Aladdin, Peter Pan with Mary Martin, Hook, Conspiracy Theory, Office Space, Almost Famous, Hair.
22. Favorite Color? Green
23. Favorite TV show? Wishbone, Scrubs, Zoom, Keeping Up Appearances, Ed, Bill Nye the Science Guy
24. Most recently read book? Ender’s Game Series
25. Perfume/Cologne? sweat and blood, man, I can barely get myself to shower much less put on smelly stuff.
26. Favorite smell? Before or after a heavy windy storm, fresh cut grass, carrots
27. What do you do to relax? yoga, read, imagine, recite The Cremation of Sam McGee, listen to music
28. When was your last hospital visit? Mid February. I was eating out at a spicy restaurant, had intense pain in my chest, hyperventilated, passed out, woke up on the ground with a circle of people hovering over me. Diagnosis: Bubble of air in my chest that caused an intense pain leading to a loss of consciousness. In other words, I'm a wimp.
29. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (ironic that this question number is my age 10 years from now) Ten years? How about 10 months? 10 days? Montana! Okay, in ten years, I will be living in Ecuador, Nepal or Peru with my boyfriend of two to three years leading trekking expeditions for the none-rich.
30. What do you do when you are bored? Write poetry, read, do crosswords, bike ride, sleep, call friends, write in this damn blog, cook, eat.
31. Music? Classic Rock, contemporary musicals, techno, folk, jazz, alternative, emo, 80s more and more, light and hard rock, punk. Not country, not incoherent rap.
32. Books? Anne McCaffery’s Dragon Riders of Pern, Ray Bradbury, Piers Anthony especially the Incarnations of Immortality, Crystal Cave series, Da Vinci Code, John Grisham, Shakespeare, TH White, Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game series, Hatchet.
33. Musicals? Jesus Christ Superstar, Hair, Full Monty, Urinetown, Tick Tick Boom, Rent, Rocky Horror Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Phantom of the Opera, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat, Chorus Line, Jekyll and Hyde, Sweeny Todd, Starlight Express, Bombay Dreams, Little Shop of Horrors, God spell, Batboy, Lion King, Aida, Miss Saigon, Man of La Mancha, Into the Woods, Anything Goes, Chess.
34. Strengths? Personality, laugh, easy going, smart, funny to myself at least, active, variable, adaptable, enthusiastic, easily pleased, responsible, mature.
35. Weaknesses? Afraid of relationships, selfish, self-conscience, street dumb, procrastinator, low energy, anti-planning.
36. Pet peeves? Gum popping, stupid people who shop at the Madison Market, snoring, people who take up two parking spots, drivers who stop to let me illegally cross the street, lurkers, stupid bikers, stupid drivers.
37. Simple joys? Chai in the morning, laughing over nothing until it hurts, running early in the morning, getting email, mail or a comment, hugging, bad jokes and puns, quotes, carrots, finding people from Missoula and Montana, finishing a crossword, finishing a poem, complimenting someone, doing something scary.
Friday, May 14, 2004
This poem is for Sarah, memories, music, travel and New Orleans, last year's Spring Break trip. In our hearts, we never really left.
The Big Easy
The war is starting and sticky air breaths on our faces,
arms and stomach. Snaking brown river laps our feet,
curling over each toe like sifted powdered sugar
and every breath we take fills our lungs with hot pungent
Cajun spice. We blithely chase our fears with sips of mango
and spilt plastic cups of New Orleans’ cheapest brew.
Night falls slowly in a lazy southern city and street bands
play for old men, young girls, witch doctors, palm readers,
accountants, homeless and wonder lust teenagers alike. Dance
in the moonlight, swing our arms like monkeys and skip
around, through and under while jazz strums and girls yelp
and raucous laughter spills under the moon’s streaming beams.
Catch the rainbow beads dripping from the torrid sky,
wring the strands from our hair and watch the dripping
puddles form on the cool, cement floor while piano players
tap out an easy pace and children scramble like sharks over
yellow and red and blue metal. We call it life and let it slip
away into peyote smoke. We call it home and never leave.
The Big Easy
The war is starting and sticky air breaths on our faces,
arms and stomach. Snaking brown river laps our feet,
curling over each toe like sifted powdered sugar
and every breath we take fills our lungs with hot pungent
Cajun spice. We blithely chase our fears with sips of mango
and spilt plastic cups of New Orleans’ cheapest brew.
Night falls slowly in a lazy southern city and street bands
play for old men, young girls, witch doctors, palm readers,
accountants, homeless and wonder lust teenagers alike. Dance
in the moonlight, swing our arms like monkeys and skip
around, through and under while jazz strums and girls yelp
and raucous laughter spills under the moon’s streaming beams.
Catch the rainbow beads dripping from the torrid sky,
wring the strands from our hair and watch the dripping
puddles form on the cool, cement floor while piano players
tap out an easy pace and children scramble like sharks over
yellow and red and blue metal. We call it life and let it slip
away into peyote smoke. We call it home and never leave.
Sunday, May 09, 2004
Happy Mother's Day, Stacey!
Mom, I love you so much and am confounded by the fact that your love for me doubles that of mine for you. Your compassion for and devotion to me are astonishing. You stuck with me through my smelly/tantrum/baby/toddler phase, my obstinate/smelly/confused/aloof/ teenage phase and my lingering refusal-to-answer-with-more-than-one-word-phase. If I were you, I would have thrown the towel in a long time ago. I would not have been able to make the sacrifices you made, giving up a lifetime of freedom and independence in order to take care of a bratty inappreciative little girl. I guess you could argue that I gave you more joy than heartache but I am still in awe of your sacrifice and I thank you so much for being a loving, caring mother and even more importantly, my friend. You are my best friend and I miss you.
Mom, I love you so much and am confounded by the fact that your love for me doubles that of mine for you. Your compassion for and devotion to me are astonishing. You stuck with me through my smelly/tantrum/baby/toddler phase, my obstinate/smelly/confused/aloof/ teenage phase and my lingering refusal-to-answer-with-more-than-one-word-phase. If I were you, I would have thrown the towel in a long time ago. I would not have been able to make the sacrifices you made, giving up a lifetime of freedom and independence in order to take care of a bratty inappreciative little girl. I guess you could argue that I gave you more joy than heartache but I am still in awe of your sacrifice and I thank you so much for being a loving, caring mother and even more importantly, my friend. You are my best friend and I miss you.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
I am covered in white cat fur from a shedding-in-the-spring cat named Marco who lives at Twice Told Tales on Broadway. I stopped in to look for Ender's Game, the first book in a sci-fi series that I am addicted to, and found Xenocide, the third book in the series and the one I am currently reading. So I sat down to read just a little, because I can stop whenever I want,I don't have a problem, and was promptly sat on by a giant white cat with black spots and yellow-green eyes. He was very insistent and despite my black coat and shirt, I just had to pet him and he rolled over on his back and stretched out his little cat paws and purred like there was no tomorrow. I hate to say it, but that cat gave me more attention then I've had in a very long time. Marco even gave me a back massage. Take that humans, I don't need your love, not when I have Marco's undying devotion.
Monday, May 03, 2004
My house-mates and I kicked butt in the Bloomsday race. I have to say I am especially proud of my roomies for stepping up to the plate on this one. In the month prior to the race, they initiated a running/training regime and all of use managed to run at least three consecutive miles before the 7.5 mile race. The road trip to Spokane was littered with rock and roll, pit stops, frisbee tossing, gymnastics, lake wading, shirtless driving and tortilla chips with sweet onion/peach salsa (thank you Chris!). We dined with my Coeur D'Alene gang, scoured Fred Meyer for sunglasses and little boys undershirts and carted about 50 pounds of food away from my gramma's house, including more corn chips and chocolate cake.
Race day began at 7 am, yikes. The day was beautiful, and after walking approximately half the race's distance from our car to the start, we milled/hopped around with the crowd. I managed to spot several people from Missoula and let them know I was from the same town. I swear, Missoula is the Kevin Bacon of cities. It's related to everyone and everything in some form or another. But I digress... We did the mandatory "hit the beach ball in the air" thing and even tossed about some flying tortillas.
The two Bloomsday veterans, Rena and I, and the Sarahs, running neophytes who have never plodded more than three consecutive miles, took off at approximately 9:04 am, in a straight line. Our shirts declared ourselves the BURNINATORS, themed after a popular internet cartoon of a dragon named Trogdor, who burns peasants and the countryside and, in our case, Bloomsday. I must say we were quite imposing in our matching shirts and received many comments from fellow Trogdor enthusiasts.
The entertainment during the race was exceptional. The Red Hot Mammas in their clown suits dancing to I Will Survive made my day. I collected Mardi Gras beads from a quasi country/rock band and high fived the vulture at the top of Dooms Day hill, while talking to a reporter from NBC. I was on TV, take that Gwenyth and Mel. The Burninators split up around mile three, despite our best efforts, and Saralita and I went on to run the entire race, no walking. We gave high fives to the on-lookers, hooted and hollered for all the entertainment, yelled our battle cry at every mile marker, frolicked in the sprinklers and sprinted the last block of the race, finishing in under 90 min.
We reunited after the race and made our way back to Rena's Gramma's house for showers and picnic sandwiches. The ride back was short, thanks to Rena's superb driving prowess, and crowed but lively, thanks to the Aaron's company. Our trip was quite a success and I am looking forward to burninating many more Bloomsday courses with my roomies and any others who may want to join us, hint, hint.
Race day began at 7 am, yikes. The day was beautiful, and after walking approximately half the race's distance from our car to the start, we milled/hopped around with the crowd. I managed to spot several people from Missoula and let them know I was from the same town. I swear, Missoula is the Kevin Bacon of cities. It's related to everyone and everything in some form or another. But I digress... We did the mandatory "hit the beach ball in the air" thing and even tossed about some flying tortillas.
The two Bloomsday veterans, Rena and I, and the Sarahs, running neophytes who have never plodded more than three consecutive miles, took off at approximately 9:04 am, in a straight line. Our shirts declared ourselves the BURNINATORS, themed after a popular internet cartoon of a dragon named Trogdor, who burns peasants and the countryside and, in our case, Bloomsday. I must say we were quite imposing in our matching shirts and received many comments from fellow Trogdor enthusiasts.
The entertainment during the race was exceptional. The Red Hot Mammas in their clown suits dancing to I Will Survive made my day. I collected Mardi Gras beads from a quasi country/rock band and high fived the vulture at the top of Dooms Day hill, while talking to a reporter from NBC. I was on TV, take that Gwenyth and Mel. The Burninators split up around mile three, despite our best efforts, and Saralita and I went on to run the entire race, no walking. We gave high fives to the on-lookers, hooted and hollered for all the entertainment, yelled our battle cry at every mile marker, frolicked in the sprinklers and sprinted the last block of the race, finishing in under 90 min.
We reunited after the race and made our way back to Rena's Gramma's house for showers and picnic sandwiches. The ride back was short, thanks to Rena's superb driving prowess, and crowed but lively, thanks to the Aaron's company. Our trip was quite a success and I am looking forward to burninating many more Bloomsday courses with my roomies and any others who may want to join us, hint, hint.