Monday, May 31, 2004

Saralita and I finally found Surprise Lake under an intense layer of snow this Memorial Day Weekend.

Friday, May 28, 2004

What did you sense today?
1. Seeing Green Eggs and Ham at SPU and afterwards meeting Katy's current boyfriend, Ryan, and sipping caramel sugar free Italian sodas with Jody at on the top of Queen Anne at Cafe dibble.
2. Getting lost in random on the way to pick up Taylor at the airport. Ike really does exist for you Fight Club fans out there.
3. Picking up Taylor and um, his beta.
4. Making sushi and began hotdogs and Boca burgers at my apartment with the roommies, Taylor and Katy.
5. Katy, Taylor, Sarah, Sarah and I doing abs and subsequently falling into an uncontrollable laugh fest.
6. Watching Kill Bill. I may have a soft/hard spot for anime.
6.5 Bubble tea and the Mix ice cream in the pouring rain over on the AVE in the U District.
7. Cramming 5 people into mine and Saralita's room for the night. None of us snored either!
8. Urinetown, the musical after dinner at Jack in the Box on Broadway. I've never been so entertained in my life. I highly recommend listening to the sound track to this musical. Better yet, buy a ticket and watch it. Taylor and I laughed so hard.
9. Watching Jesus Christ Superstar, staying up all night, backrubs. yummmm..
9.5 Dropping Taylor off at the airport at 5:15 am, braving 8:30 traffic back into town, dropping Katy and Ryan off at SPA and Aaron in Ballard. Never been so stressed in my life. I lapsed into a fit of Tourette's.
10. Laundry, finally. Still have to make my bed. Mmmm bed!
11. Frolicking in the pouring rain with the Sarah's in nothing, and I mean nothing, but a skirt and a tank top. Getting soaking wet in the fountain on campus and trekking back through the dorm and dog piling a dry studying Rena back home.
11. Buying polypro pants at 20% off at REI with Saralita.
12. Volunteer ushering at Theater Schmeater and seeing One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for free. It was the best play I've seen done my a small theater.
13. Talking with Chris in a very incoherent state while cooking tomato soup and impersonating the Beattles. I still haven't slept for 32 hours.
14. Reading an email from my future co-trail crew worker, Zack. He's my new favorite person.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.
-John 3:8

The wind, sometimes it's cool, other times it is like the hot air rushing out of an oven while you poke at a batch of cookies. I want to be in the middle of a field in Montana, feeling the Timothy whip around my legs and breathing sharp, heavy air, while the wind whirs through my hair and makes my clothes tight against my body. I want to feel like I can soar away on a gust if I only run fast enough. I want to fly until I find the beginning, the end, its creator, its source. I want to fear the looming black clouds and smell the electric lightening whose jagged scar frightens and energizes me. I need the wind to blow me from stagnancy, to blow me towards love, towards home and towards my fears. I entreat you, forces of nature, my arms are spread and I'm wearing loose clothing. My arms are spread and I am ready to fly, I am ready to go.

Saturday, May 22, 2004

imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine all the people living life in peace, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people living for today, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people sharing all the word, imagine, imaginer, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagine all the people living life in peace, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people living for today, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine all the people sharing all the word, imagine, imaginer, imagination, imagine, imaginer, imagine, imagination

Thursday, May 20, 2004

This poem needs to be read aloud. It sounds odd when I read it in my head, it's flat. So figure out how you can relate to this poem and just vent or call me and I'll recite it for you.

Last Time
I ran away again. I didn’t want
to know you. I didn’t want to hurt
you, be hurt by you, know you.
I might complain, might cry
might write this poem to avoid
you. I percolate, I ponder, I pulsate
on why I want you so, why it hurts
to know you, hurts the micro fibers
below my brain. They twist, twirl
around the thought of you and they
contract, contradict.

I ran away again. I didn’t want
you to know me. I didn’t want
you to find out I’m a hypocrite,
that I’m jealous, that I lie, I am
selfish. I want you to think I always
have a song suck in my head, stars
on my temple, that I laugh until
no sound comes out, and that I
look at the sky because it
means something.

I ran away again. It’s better
here loving myself, hating myself,
thinking of you, knowing you
without you here. I am safe from
myself, safe from combat, conflict,
carelessness. I didn’t want to
know you, care about you,
love you.

Monday, May 17, 2004

If you know me or think you do and want to add a little something to my previous post that may be pertinent, missed, omitted or forgotten, feel free.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

I don't want to be all hoity toity about this but I think that more people are looking at my blog than my anonymous visitor and I. So I am going to post a little introduction to myself. I really should get someone to forward me the 50 questions that just keep cycling about and about.

1. What time is it? 20:05
2. Name as it appears on you Birth Certificate? Uh uh, not on the internet.
3. Any nicknames? R, R Star, R2K, Rach, Turtle Dove, Lehcar, Kawate
4. Parent's names? Nick and Stacey
5. Candles on your last cake: 19
6. Date that you regularly blow them out? August 27, go Virgos
7. Visual: 6 feet, blond, green eyes
8. Home: Seattle, Washington with an emphasis on Missoula, Montana
9. Word: Flummed
10. Food: Ethnic, Indian especially, vegetarian, raw
11. Family: Mom, Dad, 2 Aunts, 1 uncle, 2 grammas, Grandpa, Great Aunt and Uncle, Half sister
12. Future Career: Actress, translator, outdoor enthusiast, guide, business owner.
13. Personality: Extrovert with dashes of introvert tendencies, random in thoughts action and speech, impulsive in play but tediously not in work, messy, chaotic, positive, assertive, selfish, risk taker, easy going, adventuresome, bossy, self-conscience, boisterous, contemplative, fluctuating.
14. Interests: Travel, theater, French, backpacking, biking, skiing, rock climbing, reading non-fiction, writing, conversation, drawing, music-rock jazz folk alternative musicals, singing, boating, cooking, kyaking, raw foods, poetry, work, gardening and so on and so forth. Just omit meat, country music, coffee and the unmentionable store.
15. Passions: Read my previous post on passions for that one.
16. Fears: Spiders, being forgotten, relationships, not zeroing out my till, needles, blood, wearing my retainer, gaining weight, getting sick, meat substitutes, having my dad forget me, school and not going back to school, getting addicted to this damn blog.
17. Wishes: To fly, to make and keep a friend for the rest of my life, play in Peter Pan, live somewhere like Belize, Nepal, Calcutta, Morocco, Thailand or Ecuador for three months this fall, play the guitar perfectly, run a mile in under six minutes, know the name and singer of every song I hear, hike the Wonderland Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail, climb Everest without dying, fall in love, see and reconnect with my best friends of yesterday, halt the production of paper and plastic bags, bike across the US, grow two inches, go to high school prom one more time, be age six, be invisible, move at the speed of light and go to a Rolling Stones Concert for under 100 dollars.
18. Pets? Billbo the wonder hobbit/cat, KC and Tunes (both cats) Tabasco Joe, fondly known as TJ (Brittany spaniel), Oakley the pond dog, and Custer, our mule.
19. Tattoos? I were star stickers on my temples and write ZERO on my thumb every morning with permanent marker.
20. How much do you love your job? I hate it! I loath it and I spit on the ground it walks on. Customer service can kiss my ass.
21. Favorite vacation spot? New Orleans was awesome but NYC was amazing. I can’t forget Hawaii and Europe. Of all the places that I’ve been, Hawaii is the only one I am seriously planning on visiting again.
22. Ever been in a car accident? I have. I backed my open car door into the side of the garage door as I backed out of the garage. I also ran into a parked van after I had stopped the car and had my foot on the break. I was looking for my mailbox key and my foot let up pressure on the break, damn automatics.
19. Favorite Pie? Vegan pumpkin pie, Grasshopper pie or cherry cheesecake with gram cracker crust
20. Favorite Number? 27
21. Favorite Movies? Moulin Rouge, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Romeo and Juliet, 5th Element, Princess Bride, Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Jesus Christ Superstar, Jurassic Park, Fight Club, Aladdin, Peter Pan with Mary Martin, Hook, Conspiracy Theory, Office Space, Almost Famous, Hair.
22. Favorite Color? Green
23. Favorite TV show? Wishbone, Scrubs, Zoom, Keeping Up Appearances, Ed, Bill Nye the Science Guy
24. Most recently read book? Ender’s Game Series
25. Perfume/Cologne? sweat and blood, man, I can barely get myself to shower much less put on smelly stuff.
26. Favorite smell? Before or after a heavy windy storm, fresh cut grass, carrots
27. What do you do to relax? yoga, read, imagine, recite The Cremation of Sam McGee, listen to music
28. When was your last hospital visit? Mid February. I was eating out at a spicy restaurant, had intense pain in my chest, hyperventilated, passed out, woke up on the ground with a circle of people hovering over me. Diagnosis: Bubble of air in my chest that caused an intense pain leading to a loss of consciousness. In other words, I'm a wimp.
29. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? (ironic that this question number is my age 10 years from now) Ten years? How about 10 months? 10 days? Montana! Okay, in ten years, I will be living in Ecuador, Nepal or Peru with my boyfriend of two to three years leading trekking expeditions for the none-rich.
30. What do you do when you are bored? Write poetry, read, do crosswords, bike ride, sleep, call friends, write in this damn blog, cook, eat.
31. Music? Classic Rock, contemporary musicals, techno, folk, jazz, alternative, emo, 80s more and more, light and hard rock, punk. Not country, not incoherent rap.
32. Books? Anne McCaffery’s Dragon Riders of Pern, Ray Bradbury, Piers Anthony especially the Incarnations of Immortality, Crystal Cave series, Da Vinci Code, John Grisham, Shakespeare, TH White, Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game series, Hatchet.
33. Musicals? Jesus Christ Superstar, Hair, Full Monty, Urinetown, Tick Tick Boom, Rent, Rocky Horror Show, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Phantom of the Opera, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat, Chorus Line, Jekyll and Hyde, Sweeny Todd, Starlight Express, Bombay Dreams, Little Shop of Horrors, God spell, Batboy, Lion King, Aida, Miss Saigon, Man of La Mancha, Into the Woods, Anything Goes, Chess.
34. Strengths? Personality, laugh, easy going, smart, funny to myself at least, active, variable, adaptable, enthusiastic, easily pleased, responsible, mature.
35. Weaknesses? Afraid of relationships, selfish, self-conscience, street dumb, procrastinator, low energy, anti-planning.
36. Pet peeves? Gum popping, stupid people who shop at the Madison Market, snoring, people who take up two parking spots, drivers who stop to let me illegally cross the street, lurkers, stupid bikers, stupid drivers.
37. Simple joys? Chai in the morning, laughing over nothing until it hurts, running early in the morning, getting email, mail or a comment, hugging, bad jokes and puns, quotes, carrots, finding people from Missoula and Montana, finishing a crossword, finishing a poem, complimenting someone, doing something scary.

Friday, May 14, 2004

This poem is for Sarah, memories, music, travel and New Orleans, last year's Spring Break trip. In our hearts, we never really left.

The Big Easy
The war is starting and sticky air breaths on our faces,
arms and stomach. Snaking brown river laps our feet,
curling over each toe like sifted powdered sugar
and every breath we take fills our lungs with hot pungent
Cajun spice. We blithely chase our fears with sips of mango
and spilt plastic cups of New Orleans’ cheapest brew.

Night falls slowly in a lazy southern city and street bands
play for old men, young girls, witch doctors, palm readers,
accountants, homeless and wonder lust teenagers alike. Dance
in the moonlight, swing our arms like monkeys and skip
around, through and under while jazz strums and girls yelp
and raucous laughter spills under the moon’s streaming beams.

Catch the rainbow beads dripping from the torrid sky,
wring the strands from our hair and watch the dripping
puddles form on the cool, cement floor while piano players
tap out an easy pace and children scramble like sharks over
yellow and red and blue metal. We call it life and let it slip
away into peyote smoke. We call it home and never leave.

Sunday, May 09, 2004

Happy Mother's Day, Stacey!
Mom, I love you so much and am confounded by the fact that your love for me doubles that of mine for you. Your compassion for and devotion to me are astonishing. You stuck with me through my smelly/tantrum/baby/toddler phase, my obstinate/smelly/confused/aloof/ teenage phase and my lingering refusal-to-answer-with-more-than-one-word-phase. If I were you, I would have thrown the towel in a long time ago. I would not have been able to make the sacrifices you made, giving up a lifetime of freedom and independence in order to take care of a bratty inappreciative little girl. I guess you could argue that I gave you more joy than heartache but I am still in awe of your sacrifice and I thank you so much for being a loving, caring mother and even more importantly, my friend. You are my best friend and I miss you.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

I am covered in white cat fur from a shedding-in-the-spring cat named Marco who lives at Twice Told Tales on Broadway. I stopped in to look for Ender's Game, the first book in a sci-fi series that I am addicted to, and found Xenocide, the third book in the series and the one I am currently reading. So I sat down to read just a little, because I can stop whenever I want,I don't have a problem, and was promptly sat on by a giant white cat with black spots and yellow-green eyes. He was very insistent and despite my black coat and shirt, I just had to pet him and he rolled over on his back and stretched out his little cat paws and purred like there was no tomorrow. I hate to say it, but that cat gave me more attention then I've had in a very long time. Marco even gave me a back massage. Take that humans, I don't need your love, not when I have Marco's undying devotion.

Monday, May 03, 2004

My house-mates and I kicked butt in the Bloomsday race. I have to say I am especially proud of my roomies for stepping up to the plate on this one. In the month prior to the race, they initiated a running/training regime and all of use managed to run at least three consecutive miles before the 7.5 mile race. The road trip to Spokane was littered with rock and roll, pit stops, frisbee tossing, gymnastics, lake wading, shirtless driving and tortilla chips with sweet onion/peach salsa (thank you Chris!). We dined with my Coeur D'Alene gang, scoured Fred Meyer for sunglasses and little boys undershirts and carted about 50 pounds of food away from my gramma's house, including more corn chips and chocolate cake.

Race day began at 7 am, yikes. The day was beautiful, and after walking approximately half the race's distance from our car to the start, we milled/hopped around with the crowd. I managed to spot several people from Missoula and let them know I was from the same town. I swear, Missoula is the Kevin Bacon of cities. It's related to everyone and everything in some form or another. But I digress... We did the mandatory "hit the beach ball in the air" thing and even tossed about some flying tortillas.

The two Bloomsday veterans, Rena and I, and the Sarahs, running neophytes who have never plodded more than three consecutive miles, took off at approximately 9:04 am, in a straight line. Our shirts declared ourselves the BURNINATORS, themed after a popular internet cartoon of a dragon named Trogdor, who burns peasants and the countryside and, in our case, Bloomsday. I must say we were quite imposing in our matching shirts and received many comments from fellow Trogdor enthusiasts.

The entertainment during the race was exceptional. The Red Hot Mammas in their clown suits dancing to I Will Survive made my day. I collected Mardi Gras beads from a quasi country/rock band and high fived the vulture at the top of Dooms Day hill, while talking to a reporter from NBC. I was on TV, take that Gwenyth and Mel. The Burninators split up around mile three, despite our best efforts, and Saralita and I went on to run the entire race, no walking. We gave high fives to the on-lookers, hooted and hollered for all the entertainment, yelled our battle cry at every mile marker, frolicked in the sprinklers and sprinted the last block of the race, finishing in under 90 min.

We reunited after the race and made our way back to Rena's Gramma's house for showers and picnic sandwiches. The ride back was short, thanks to Rena's superb driving prowess, and crowed but lively, thanks to the Aaron's company. Our trip was quite a success and I am looking forward to burninating many more Bloomsday courses with my roomies and any others who may want to join us, hint, hint.