Thursday, May 20, 2004

This poem needs to be read aloud. It sounds odd when I read it in my head, it's flat. So figure out how you can relate to this poem and just vent or call me and I'll recite it for you.

Last Time
I ran away again. I didn’t want
to know you. I didn’t want to hurt
you, be hurt by you, know you.
I might complain, might cry
might write this poem to avoid
you. I percolate, I ponder, I pulsate
on why I want you so, why it hurts
to know you, hurts the micro fibers
below my brain. They twist, twirl
around the thought of you and they
contract, contradict.

I ran away again. I didn’t want
you to know me. I didn’t want
you to find out I’m a hypocrite,
that I’m jealous, that I lie, I am
selfish. I want you to think I always
have a song suck in my head, stars
on my temple, that I laugh until
no sound comes out, and that I
look at the sky because it
means something.

I ran away again. It’s better
here loving myself, hating myself,
thinking of you, knowing you
without you here. I am safe from
myself, safe from combat, conflict,
carelessness. I didn’t want to
know you, care about you,
love you.

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